Lightsaber Collector T-Shirts

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

I see he switched to the energy-efficient saber.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Lady of the bath...

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

How Swordfish Are Born

"Harry?... Is that you?"

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

In/Out

Before Cordless Light Sabers

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

'I'll be the back yard cutting firewood. Have you seen my protective goggles?. . .Well, luckily I kept my old hockey mask!'

Sabrage!

"You see, honey, no lousy coronavirus is gonna get to us way out here."

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

'None shall pass!'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

Squeal like a pig!

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."

'After A Knights Hard Day'

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

Knight walking his pet armadillo.

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

'They say he wears half-inch armor.'

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."