Torch Collector T-Shirts

Trick or treat...

'This is the 'Mother Flame' - three for a pound down the market.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

"He loves his leaf blower."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'Ideas.com' desk with a 'come' tray and a 'gone' tray.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

"We were having a great conversation and then someone clapped."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Triple-headed razors?... Aisle seven.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.