Light-hearted Sleeper Gifts

'I wish they would invent one of those dog bark translators to interpret my husband's snoring.'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Night-time halo

'At lone at last.'

Bed Seasons

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

'Oh, you nasty sluggard!'

CFL bulb and ice cream cone fall in love

Dreams

Preachers with far too much input

For goodness sake, can't you see I'm on a night shift!

Sleeping masks

"Not me, brother - you wake him!"

'I'm looking for something not too heavy.'

"This alarm clock is guaranteed to wake you. It's sounds like a husband snoring."

"He just woke up from hibernation."

"Sorry - is my snoring driving you nuts?"

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

'Wow! I feel so good this morning, I think I'll call in sick!'

"Just two paragraphs from our internet provider's terms and conditions agreement and she was out like a light."

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

Sleepless Night with a Mosquito

'You are in a deep, deep sleep, when you awaken you will feel sweaty and exhausted...'

“Is the light bothering you, dear?”

'... and do you, Linda, promise to look up the word 'fellatio' in the dictionary?'

"Five more minutes."

'Get up or I'll send in gramma.'

"Could you stop making that breathing sound?"

Cat Dreams

"Sorry, but we're not at the lake."

Sleep-Eez Bedding

"It says, 'sorry ... I forgot you're three hours earlier out there'."

"Don't eat so fast"