Light-hearted Sleeper Pillows

'I wish they would invent one of those dog bark translators to interpret my husband's snoring.'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Night-time halo

'At lone at last.'

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

Dreams

Preachers with far too much input

'Oh, you nasty sluggard!'

CFL bulb and ice cream cone fall in love

For goodness sake, can't you see I'm on a night shift!

"Not me, brother - you wake him!"

Sleeping masks

'I'm looking for something not too heavy.'

"Just two paragraphs from our internet provider's terms and conditions agreement and she was out like a light."

"This alarm clock is guaranteed to wake you. It's sounds like a husband snoring."

'Wow! I feel so good this morning, I think I'll call in sick!'

"Sorry - is my snoring driving you nuts?"

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

"He just woke up from hibernation."

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

'You are in a deep, deep sleep, when you awaken you will feel sweaty and exhausted...'

'... and do you, Linda, promise to look up the word 'fellatio' in the dictionary?'

"Five more minutes."

'Get up or I'll send in gramma.'

“Is the light bothering you, dear?”

"Could you stop making that breathing sound?"

Cat Dreams

The Princess and the Pea

Bus stop and reader

"Sorry, but we're not at the lake."

Sleep-Eez Bedding

'I can't sleep a wink - it feels like someone's got their life savings under here.'