Light Sleeper Humorist Pillows

“Is the light bothering you, dear?”

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

Daffodil bulbs

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

The downside of the cupcake bed.

Surreal Ale Pub.

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

'Vacuums!'

"Not me, brother - you wake him!"

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

Visual gag (the real Mona Lisa behind the scenes).

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

'It's your turn, dear.'

'Hello? Animal control?'

Overnight Programming

"This alarm clock is guaranteed to wake you. It's sounds like a husband snoring."

"Just two paragraphs from our internet provider's terms and conditions agreement and she was out like a light."

"Sorry - is my snoring driving you nuts?"

"Doctor I think I'm a moth..."

"What time should we wake him for breakfast?"

"Dude, don't say it..."

"I've forgotten your face but I remember your mask."

'Get up or I'll send in gramma.'

"Could you stop making that breathing sound?"

'Give me one of your lectures, Dad - I can't sleep!'

When I went in they were discussing Tina Turner.

"It says, 'sorry ... I forgot you're three hours earlier out there'."