Light Sleeper Humorist Pillows

“Is the light bothering you, dear?”

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

Daffodil bulbs

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Surreal Ale Pub.

'Vacuums!'

The downside of the cupcake bed.

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and with the sun if I've found death, please excuse my morning breath.

Visual gag (the real Mona Lisa behind the scenes).

"Not me, brother - you wake him!"

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

"Today is my second birthday and I wanted to let you know that I intend to take full advantage of my terrible twos!"

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

'Wake up! You're kissing the sheet again...'

"Sorry - is my snoring driving you nuts?"

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

'Hello? Animal control?'

'It's your turn, dear.'

Overnight Programming

"This alarm clock is guaranteed to wake you. It's sounds like a husband snoring."

"Just two paragraphs from our internet provider's terms and conditions agreement and she was out like a light."

Sleepless Night with a Mosquito

"Doctor I think I'm a moth..."

"Dude, don't say it..."

"What time should we wake him for breakfast?"

"I've forgotten your face but I remember your mask."

I was bitten by a radioactive bedbug – My superpower is getting a solid eight hours of sleep every night. Wow. So lucky.

'Get up or I'll send in gramma.'

"Could you stop making that breathing sound?"

'Give me one of your lectures, Dad - I can't sleep!'

"It says, 'sorry ... I forgot you're three hours earlier out there'."