Lifespan Strategist T-Shirts

'You are very highly recommended for making retirement savings and lifespans come out even.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Environmentalist Brainstorm

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

401K

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

'I hate evolution!'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

The trap

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

The Transition Oz team on their way to Totnes to get advice on Reskilling, Transport, Oil Dependancy and overcoming Post Petroleum Stress Disorder.

"We're making progress."

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

"It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your 401k is?"

'This new 'mentoring' policy is a wonderful idea...It gives staff the chances to take on significant extra responsibilities in relation to staff support and supervision.'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

Pension planning for Brexit

'As you know, your father liked the sport of Boxing...'

There, but for the grace of God, go I.

"Well, they're circling counter-clockwise, so we must be in the southern hemisphere."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

'You're lucky, you're one of our few employees that will live long enought to earn a pension.'

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'Some more great camouflage of the insect world.'

Live to work or work to live?

"I know at least two people who will sleep easier with him behind bars."

'Michelle, this is your brother, Paul, do you copy? Over...Paul to Michelle, do you read me?...'

"I eat cheap greasy food so I can save for my cardiologist bills in the future."