Sleeptime Strategist T-Shirts

"I know at least two people who will sleep easier with him behind bars."

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'Thanks for coming to this 12.01 appointment, but I'm afraid my 12.02 has now arrived.'

'Personally - I'm against a four-day school week - I'm for a three-day school week. . .'

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"I can't decide whether to get upset and wake him up... or wait and see if it works!"

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

Workaholics Anonymous - Hourly General Meeting

"I haven't had smouldering, passionate sex for a while....could you put it in the diary for next week!"

"You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15."

The Thinker (Millennials Edition)

Life Tetris

"I know I shouldn't let them have so much screen time, but how else am I supposed o get anything done?"

"Go around the block, my show's not done."

"It would keep me awake all night, but I'm up for a game of coffee pong first thing in the morning."

"I'll only be a few minutes more dad!"

"I'd love to meet up, but my calendar is a jam-packed with squares and sequential numbers."

'I've got a tight schedule.'

"So hardly working....or hardly working?"

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

"It's from our 'Time Management' trainer. He's double booked and can't come!"

'Katie, I won't be coming in Thursday, so reschedule all of today's appointments for then.'

White Rabbit leaving a 'Time Management Seminar.'

"It's not a nap if I'm sitting at my desk."

"Her phone has parental controls, but I have to ask her how to use them."

Realistic Timetable

'Stop biting your nails son and get to sleep!'

"The secret to my productivity is sleeping when everyone is awake."

'I went in to get my mortgage renewed. I said: 'Make it for eight months and four days!'. . . Am I only the one who thinks the world ends in December?'

'There are four reasons for him to cry...he's hungry, he's wet, a pin is sticking him, or he wants to wake you up from a sound sleep.'