Love Life Strategist T-Shirts

'My wife doesn't understand me....my mistress doesn't understand me...my girlfriend doesn't understand me.'

'As you're a lawyer could you tell me how to sue a dating website for false representation.'

"I just figured out why we've never had girlfriends."

"You're going to meet a tall, dark, and handsome stranger who's been burned twice and is looking for guarantees."

'At least I'm doing my part and getting out there!!'

'There are plenty of fish in the sea and I just got myself some fresh bait!'

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

'I sent out for everything.'

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

'Thanks for inviting me round to watch tv. Where is it?'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

'It would never work, Tommy - you have all the growth funds and mine are all value...'

Dating the efficiency expert.

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

Mergers or acquisitions.

'And that, in a nutshell, is why men don't understand women.'

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

"But gosh, Ursula, together we'd be exactly what every major advertiser is trying to reach."