Lifeboat Crew Gifts

Lifeboat crew member about to take a bath

"...Welcome back to the request hour. Just had a call from a listener calling himself 'Lost at Sea', wanting a big shout out to the local lifeboat crew."

Imagining a Better World Isn't Really That Hard

"Would you like some wings?"

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

'Slip Ahoy!'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Airport

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

Sand Snowmen

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

Sub Editor

Helicopter

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

No Cabin Crew Self Service.

"Captain, some passengers say that they are not interested in your romance with that flight attendant, and ask you to turn the speaker off."

"That's why you're so familiar, we flew together yesterday!"

"I don't care what the owner's name is. It's bad luck."

"Who wants to go first?"

"Looks like you've got some competition."

"What a beautiful day to set sail!"

Water skier sees steep hill sign.

"I never watch the safety demo. If we crash, they'll just save me."

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

"Is there something on my face? I've never had anybody watch this demonstration before."

"Be careful - we've seen an alarming increase in the number of plane strikes."

On his first day as a paramedic Henry suffered Pre-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

"I'm going to have a word with the pilot."

'You know, you remind me of me when I first started here.'

Happy New Year

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

'If we had any guts we'd get out of here!'

First ClassEconomy ClassNo class.