Life Transition Enthusiast Gifts

'Retirement.'

The Pediatrician Turned Gynecologist

'I hope you realize Simkins that you have now had the best years of your life...'

From activity to retirement?

"Have a nice day harvesting data, honey."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

The fate of the emigrant

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

Reach for the Star.

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

Life and Death

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"Hon, I'm taking your advice and starting a new chapter."

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

Doubt or Certainy

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

'So push has come to shove...'

'I'm hereby giving my two week notice and taking my last two weeks of vacation. I could use a positive reference. Thanks.'

Women

"That's O.K., Dad. I think I'll do with the ambient waterfall sounds tonight."

Truthfully, I'm just a frustrated insurance agent …

PastFuture.

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

"Just be happy you're getting in, worry about your hair later."

"Yesterday we're caterpillars, today this. Can't wait to see what's next."

"Well, it's funny, Sid. Every time I've got onr foot in the grave, something interesting happens, so I pull it back out again!"

"Hello, I'm the bluebird of quiet resignation."

"I had it all figured out. Sleep late, watch TV, play all day...then kindergarten happened."

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

Life is about the chase, not the ball. Now go get it!

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"