Life Transitioners Gifts

'I have this fear of the real world...'

The fate of the emigrant

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

'Our goal is for you to successfully transition to your new job before retirement age.'

'I'm excited about my new job. I know I have some small shoes to fill.'

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"Hon, I'm taking your advice and starting a new chapter."

Doubt or Certainy

'The bad news, Pomeroy, is tht we're giving your job to your secretary -- the good news is that she wants you to stay on as her secretary!'

'So push has come to shove...'

Truthfully, I'm just a frustrated insurance agent …

"There - is outplacement a challenge or what?"

"Have a nice day harvesting data, honey."

Women

PastFuture.

'I'm sorry, but we're letting all of you go. Your jobs have been outsourced to India.'

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

"Hello, I'm the bluebird of quiet resignation."

"Why yes, I love Charades! Do, it rhymes with 'wired' and is my next career move. . ."

"Just be happy you're getting in, worry about your hair later."

'As a matter of fact, I can offer you another career option.'

"I had it all figured out. Sleep late, watch TV, play all day...then kindergarten happened."

"Yesterday we're caterpillars, today this. Can't wait to see what's next."

Dick rode through the night, the job offer to become a Pension Investment Opportunities Advisor was just too good to miss.

'This isn't any comparison to my going through menopause!'

"Recently separated."

'I'd like to change my major from electrical engineering to English or something.'

'Rock of Ages'

"He quit his job to pursue his dreams."