Life Reflector T-Shirts

"I was middle class once. Some of it was fun."

He was a great dodgeball player. Who's in heaven now. He will be missed.

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

Desk at the Horizon

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

'Cosmetic surgery.'

Creator's Remorse

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

'I'm at the age when everything Mother Nature gave Father Time is taking away...'

"If every day is a gift, where can I return all of last week?"

"You know what I'd like to try someday? Landlubbing."

Small Cash Infusion

"Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for you."

"Yeah, I'm at that awkward age where all my friends are starting families, or rehab."

"Oh, darn, and just as I was beginning to take charge of my life."

Freeway exits: Should, Woulda, Coulda.

"I was a cog in the machine for thirty years, and then it went solid-state!"

"Life"

Shortly after attaining enlightenment, Hank reincarnates as a stone.

Time is a Trap.

"Of course there is. Don't forget the drippy thing."

'We've all read the report cover to cover. Anyone read all that stuff in the middle?'

"My motto was 'Go with the Flow," but I had no idea it ended up here."

The world may be my oyster, but I've never been able to pry it open.

"Bye honey, have a great day at work."

Is there anything worse than the aging process? The thing that comes after the aging process.

"On the other hand, if I die next week this isn't a midlife crisis."

"I'm thinking of going back to work now I've had kids beat me up"

Life Hourglass

The Guy Who Mixed Up His To-Do List And His Bucket List