Life Reflector Pillows

"I was middle class once. Some of it was fun."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

'Cosmetic surgery.'

Desk at the Horizon

Creator's Remorse

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

'I'm at the age when everything Mother Nature gave Father Time is taking away...'

"If every day is a gift, where can I return all of last week?"

"You know what I'd like to try someday? Landlubbing."

"Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for you."

"Yeah, I'm at that awkward age where all my friends are starting families, or rehab."

Small Cash Infusion

"Oh, darn, and just as I was beginning to take charge of my life."

"I was a cog in the machine for thirty years, and then it went solid-state!"

Time is a Trap.

Freeway exits: Should, Woulda, Coulda.

"Life"

Shortly after attaining enlightenment, Hank reincarnates as a stone.

"Of course there is. Don't forget the drippy thing."

"My motto was 'Go with the Flow," but I had no idea it ended up here."

'We've all read the report cover to cover. Anyone read all that stuff in the middle?'

'They say youth is wasted on the young but I think old age comes at a pretty lousy time too.'

The Guy Who Mixed Up His To-Do List And His Bucket List

"On the other hand, if I die next week this isn't a midlife crisis."

Life Hourglass

"I was a used-car salesman, but I was terrible at it."

"Bye honey, have a great day at work."