Love Life Reflectors Pillows

"No, right house but 30 years too late."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"The overthinker"

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

'I'm writing a novel using our marriage as inspiration. It's called, 'This Sucks'.'

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"Now give me something intimate to say."

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

"Sorry Honey, I'll be about thirty years late for dinner tonight."

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

"I just feel like we're not connecting."

He was a great dodgeball player. Who's in heaven now. He will be missed.

Man tries reaching for the Sun's reflection thinking it is a ball.

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

"We slipped in the tub."

"We can't go on meeting like this, I'm practically broke."

'How long have you had this persecution complex?'

Are you getting enough "me" time, Al? Oh, more than enough, Doctor

"Lucky!"

'How does it make you feel when he doesn't acknowledge all the hard work you put into gathering?'

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you."

"Okay, I'm intrigued."

"My dating life has come down to choosing between bad breath and bad credit."

"Boys meet the girls. Girls meet the boys. . ."

'Were you playing footsie with me?'