Midlife Reflector Pillows

Coming-of-age novels

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Where Are They Now?'

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

'Since we've been married thirty years, Lester, I think it's time to face up to the fact that we've been seeing too much of each other.'

'Once they start to sag, then I'll have to learn professional, technical and networking skills.'

'It's quite common with men your age. You've got a silver duct tapeworm.'

"It started with a few grey hares in my 20's and they kept showing up."

"Yesterday I got in touch with a childhood friend!"

"Who knew a lifeless box could spread such fear? It came from the mailbox."

"I don't feel ready to commit to a cacoon, either, but do you ever worry we'll wake up one day and be forty and still caterpillars?"