Aging Gracefully Reflector Pillows

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Multi-Generational Books

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

'Man...You age great!'

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

Aging Problems

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"I noticed a few browns."

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"You're right, they are statins."

Don't have a hot flush....

The Aging of Underwear

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

A very fine vintage

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

"He's got a great future behind him!"

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"Miriam keeps me young."

'They want your underwear.'