Ageing Gracefully Pillows

'She's determined to grow old gracefully.'

'Lost youth, next window down.'

Whar do you think. Dear? Is the BOTOX working? 'Oh, no! Why doesn't she just ask me if her butt is too big!'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"This is our new one-piece for the more mature ladies."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

Celebrating National No Bra Day

"I hope I can still move like that when I'm her age."

Walking sticks

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"We REALLY do get better with age."

Parts Department

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

"I noticed a few browns."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

Aging Problems

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'