Ageing Gracefully Gifts

'She's determined to grow old gracefully.'

'Lost youth, next window down.'

Whar do you think. Dear? Is the BOTOX working? 'Oh, no! Why doesn't she just ask me if her butt is too big!'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"This is our new one-piece for the more mature ladies."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

Celebrating National No Bra Day

"I hope I can still move like that when I'm her age."

Walking sticks

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

Parts Department

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

Aging Problems

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"I noticed a few browns."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

'You've a slipped disc in your back and a slipped everything in your front.'

"You're right, they are statins."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."