Aging Gracefully Gifts

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'Have you considered Botox?'

Who said romance is dead?

'You know you're 40 when...'

Old biker with a zimmer frame.

'The difference between retirement and old age is where you put the ice.'

Getting older isn't the same as growing up.

'Too much Botox, Mavis.'

'Listen Buddy! After the hot flushes I've been having this is like a resort!'

'You look quite distinguished with that gray hare on your head, Jim!'

'The best part of growing old is not having to invest for the long term.'

'No Dear, the Tooth Fairy is long gone. I'm the Hot-Flash Fairy.'

'Me and your Grandad have been married for sixty years. But he still whispers sweet nothings into my hearing aid.'

"Do these diapers make my ass look fat?"

"Wrinkles are the roadmap of a well lived life." "I think I've just found the M25."

'I'm getting older? What do you mean by that?...I want a second opinion!'

"I'm not losing my memory. I'm living in the now."

"On the bright side, dear, you still rock...just in a different way!"

The Girl With The Draggin' tattoo: 'Hot...Cold.'

'Who are you?' 'Your wife for 57 years back from plastic surgery!'

"At first I was wondering who all the old people are, until I realized I'm one of them."

'And for our middle-aged customers, we've developed this orthopaedic backrest.'

'I'm reminded of my age whenever I see a lady I used to know and learn that she's her granddaughter.'

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

The Fountain of Youth.

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

'Well, if you were on the verge of 100, I'd let you reach it.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"You were right - at our age a heated mattress pad is the best aphrodisiac."

"His snoring is just loud enough to mask my tinnitus."

"It seems like only yesterday we were kids coming down here to look at the characters."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

A Visit From the Jowl Fairy

Bikini Wax and cellulite

'The brown one that smells like an old man.'