Aging Gracefully Gifts

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'Have you considered Botox?'

Born to rock.

Who said romance is dead?

'You know you're 40 when...'

Old biker with a zimmer frame.

'The difference between retirement and old age is where you put the ice.'

Getting older isn't the same as growing up.

'Too much Botox, Mavis.'

'Listen Buddy! After the hot flushes I've been having this is like a resort!'

'The best part of growing old is not having to invest for the long term.'

'You look quite distinguished with that gray hare on your head, Jim!'

'No Dear, the Tooth Fairy is long gone. I'm the Hot-Flash Fairy.'

'Me and your Grandad have been married for sixty years. But he still whispers sweet nothings into my hearing aid.'

See no evil, Hear No Evil, Speak no evil. . .

"Wrinkles are the roadmap of a well lived life." "I think I've just found the M25."

'I'm getting older? What do you mean by that?...I want a second opinion!'

"Do these diapers make my ass look fat?"

"I'm not losing my memory. I'm living in the now."

"On the bright side, dear, you still rock...just in a different way!"

'Who are you?' 'Your wife for 57 years back from plastic surgery!'

The Girl With The Draggin' tattoo: 'Hot...Cold.'

'And for our middle-aged customers, we've developed this orthopaedic backrest.'

'I'm reminded of my age whenever I see a lady I used to know and learn that she's her granddaughter.'

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

"You haven't lost hair, hon. You've just reassigned it."

"At first I was wondering who all the old people are, until I realized I'm one of them."

The Fountain of Youth.

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

"His snoring is just loud enough to mask my tinnitus."

"Oh, I stopped wearing one. At my age there's no point in trying to fool Mother Nature."

You're only as old as you feel!

"Have you noticed that little old ladies seem to be getting younger"

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."