Midlife Reflector Gifts

Coming-of-age novels

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

ZZZZZZZ Top

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Where Are They Now?'

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."

'It's quite common with men your age. You've got a silver duct tapeworm.'

"Who knew a lifeless box could spread such fear? It came from the mailbox."

'Since we've been married thirty years, Lester, I think it's time to face up to the fact that we've been seeing too much of each other.'

'Once they start to sag, then I'll have to learn professional, technical and networking skills.'

"Yesterday I got in touch with a childhood friend!"

"It started with a few grey hares in my 20's and they kept showing up."

"I don't feel ready to commit to a cacoon, either, but do you ever worry we'll wake up one day and be forty and still caterpillars?"