Life Stage Reflectors Gifts

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

He was a great dodgeball player. Who's in heaven now. He will be missed.

"Who knew a lifeless box could spread such fear? It came from the mailbox."

'I must be getting old. I've stopped trying to come up with ways to drive you crazy.'

"Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for you."

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

'A cocoon? Boy, he is having a mid-life crisis!'

"You know what I'd like to try someday? Landlubbing."

"If you didn't want to feel inferior to your classmates, you shouldn't have gone to such a good school."

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

"I was a cog in the machine for thirty years, and then it went solid-state!"

"Tireless worker? Well, when I was young, yes, but not anymore I can tell you..."

'We've all read the report cover to cover. Anyone read all that stuff in the middle?'

'It's middle age spread.' 'I can't believe I'm not thinner.'

"Bye honey, have a great day at work."

Retirement...Retirement...

Would be interested in a job inspecting mirrors? I could see myself doing that.

"I was a used-car salesman, but I was terrible at it."

"I fondly remember the time before the money ran out."

"You have your whole life ahead of you, Billy...boy, I sure don't envy you!"

Death of Arafat.

"I never appreciated nap time when I had it."

'Dang! -- STILL no lifetime achievement award!'

Coming-of-age novels

'When I was your age, the closest thing I had to texting was spelling things out in my alphabet soup.'

"When I came to the crossroads of my life, I found I was out of gas!"

"Hey look - God's plan."

"I was middle class once. Some of it was fun."

"How soon after the summer ends can we start to complain about not taking full advantage of the summer?"

Society of Martyrs

"No, right house but 30 years too late."