Romance Reflector Pillows

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

An old couple visit a woods where they once carved their name in a tree and discover it has bee cut down.

"Oh, that's just the pedestal your father used to put me on."

"So you only got one Valentine's card!"

"I was so busy worrying that she only loved me because of my money that I lost her AND the money!"

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"The overthinker"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

You're the olive in my martini

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

The point in every relationship, when annoying habits become intolerable...

'Will you marry me if I can get funding?'

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

Jenga!!!

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

"When we were dating it was all wine, soft lights, and candy. So nothing's changed really."

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

"You never chase me through back yards anymore."

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

"I appreciate couples therapy, but I can't stop fantasizing about group therapy."

"Sorry Honey, I'll be about thirty years late for dinner tonight."

Man tries reaching for the Sun's reflection thinking it is a ball.

"I thought you might like to hear how my love-making sounded when I was a younger man."

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

'This is George, my divorce lawyer from a previous marriage.'