Romance Reflector Pillows

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

An old couple visit a woods where they once carved their name in a tree and discover it has bee cut down.

"Oh, that's just the pedestal your father used to put me on."

"So you only got one Valentine's card!"

"I was so busy worrying that she only loved me because of my money that I lost her AND the money!"

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"The overthinker"

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

You're the olive in my martini

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

The point in every relationship, when annoying habits become intolerable...

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"When we were dating it was all wine, soft lights, and candy. So nothing's changed really."

'Will you marry me if I can get funding?'

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

"You never chase me through back yards anymore."

'I'm writing a novel using our marriage as inspiration. It's called, 'This Sucks'.'

Jenga!!!

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

"I appreciate couples therapy, but I can't stop fantasizing about group therapy."

"Sorry Honey, I'll be about thirty years late for dinner tonight."

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

'This is George, my divorce lawyer from a previous marriage.'

Man tries reaching for the Sun's reflection thinking it is a ball.