Textual Reflector Pillows

"If I've got no messages how do I know I even EXIST!"

Pete Townshend Vineyards

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

He was a great dodgeball player. Who's in heaven now. He will be missed.

"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."

"'A land of milk and honey'? - But I'm on a DIET!"

"And remember, if you need anything I'm available 24/6."

'This babbling brook reminds me I should probably call my wife.'

"Sometimes I wish I went to a magnet school."

'In view of the crap you talk, I'd suggest to take this, sir, before you get sued for environmental pollution.'

"I've been to the office..."

"Tireless worker? Well, when I was young, yes, but not anymore I can tell you..."

'There is no room in the church for damaged goods Rodney.'

An old couple visit a woods where they once carved their name in a tree and discover it has bee cut down.

"I spent $1,000 on this great painting. And I spent $2,000 on college courses to know why it is great!"

"I can afford to die or I can afford to be sick, but I can't afford to be sick and then die."

'When you smile the whole ... cynical world laughs at you.'

'We've all read the report cover to cover. Anyone read all that stuff in the middle?'

Would be interested in a job inspecting mirrors? I could see myself doing that.

Retirement...Retirement...

"I guess today separated the wheat from us chaff."

'There's something to be said for being in the lowly 1-percent group in today's economy...right?'

"I was so busy worrying that she only loved me because of my money that I lost her AND the money!"

"What's that look? C'mon, you're scaring me!"

"I bet that under your preachy, holier-than-thou attitude is another preachy, holier-than-thou attitude."

'God's dead. We're closed.'

"I really enjoyed the Bible."

"I fondly remember the time before the money ran out."

'Maybe I am thick, but I can't understand a woman who gives up her diet for Lent.'

The Origin of Creationism

Bureau of Pursing Missions. They're in charge of financing missionary work.