Technology Reflector Pillows

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'When I was your age, the closest thing I had to texting was spelling things out in my alphabet soup.'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"I guess it took a pandemic to make me realize school is better than trying to learn stuff online."

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

'I'm writing a novel using our marriage as inspiration. It's called, 'This Sucks'.'

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

"Sorry Honey, I'll be about thirty years late for dinner tonight."

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

He was a great dodgeball player. Who's in heaven now. He will be missed.

'How does it make you feel when he doesn't acknowledge all the hard work you put into gathering?'

"Lucky!"

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you."

Are you getting enough "me" time, Al? Oh, more than enough, Doctor

"My dating life has come down to choosing between bad breath and bad credit."

"If I've got no messages how do I know I even EXIST!"

"Twenty years ago, I invited you in for a nightcap. I now retract that invitation."

"I wish we had a diary room - someone who would listen to me."

"For the experiencing self or the remembering self?" "That was nice."

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

"That's just my memory mattress."

When can you get rid of the crutches? Doctor says now, lawyer says not yet.

"When I think about my mom, it hurts here."

"If you didn't want to feel inferior to your classmates, you shouldn't have gone to such a good school."

"Face it, Gail. We've drifted apart."

A conspiracy theorist breaks up. It's not you, it's them!

"You've changed, Howie."

"It makes me realize how small you are."