Emotional Reflector Pillows

Murray relives a favorite watershed moment in his life.

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

"You need to stop bottling it up."

Pachyderm insomnia.

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

"On a clear night when the stars are twinkling over the city, I almost don’t mind that civilization collapsed."

Doubt or Certainy

'You get into arguments even when you talk to yourself ?'

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

'I'm writing a novel using our marriage as inspiration. It's called, 'This Sucks'.'

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

'Cosmetic surgery.'

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

Well, whenever I lose MY sense of identity, I Google myself.

Creator's Remorse

'It's not your fault, Dewey. Whenever a call doesn't go his way, he goes ballistic.'

"Sorry Honey, I'll be about thirty years late for dinner tonight."

First I asked myself, "Why did I cross the road?" Then I asked, "Why did I hop on that train?" Then It was, "Why did I buy this suit?" And now I'm like, "Why didn't I fire this guy a long time ago?"

"I want something more out of this relationship. . . me!"

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

"This isn't his audition...he's telling us about being an actor."

He was a great dodgeball player. Who's in heaven now. He will be missed.

"What did you swallow" - "My pride"

'I think my inner child needs a spanking.'

That gut! Why can't I lay off the nuts?? I fly funny. I really do. My voice is so annoying. Self-mockingbird.