Life Philosophy Gifts

'And I repeat. Live each day as though it were your last.'

"I always cry at weddings because I'm philosophically opposed to the institution of marriage."

The Simple Life: Input - Output

Happiness is knowing what you've got.

'I know that life is but a stage, and the people merely players; but what I can't stand is the special effects,'

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

"I'm diagnosing a conflict of interest . . . your body knows how old you are, but your mind refuses to believe it."

The fox knows many things but the hedgehog knows one big thing.

"I'm at the age where work is a lot less fun, and fun is a lot more work."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Call me?"

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"It's a beautiful world out there, just waiting to be discovered. Well, discovered by one of you, the rest will almost certainly die."

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

Aging Support Group

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

"Death coach..."

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses ... "

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

"Would you like to hear about our retirement plan?"

Life, love and a lot of bananas.

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

Body Language Expert - 'You don't like your job do you?'

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."