Life Documentarian Gifts

Why do you hate blockbuster movies? Why do you hate documentaries? I don't. I love spending two hours watching the very life I'm trying to escape. Oooh, fun, bittersweet insights into the complexities of living in modern life. Document this! My camera lens isn't wide enough.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

The Food Chain

Live Stream

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"Oh, come on! Nobody brought a pen?"

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

They're watching a documentary about safety razors. Sounds like a Schick flick!

Police film evidence

Crocodile

Kirsten Johnson

Michael Moore creates a UK equivalent of Fahrenheit 9/11

'Your life story?....why not, the world is in need of a few good laughs!'

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

My friend, Ernie, the documentary filmmaker, is producing a series about beverages. One film follows a man's search for the perfect lager. The working title is "The Beer Hunter." He found a group of young women in high school who are fantastic baristas. "Bean Girls." Espresso. Another movie will uncover animosity in the orange juice business. Maybe I should call it "Pulp Friction." And he's examining vineyards and winemakers all over the globe. I'll call the film "Planet of the Grapes"!

"Ugh! Stop making a drama documentary out of a molehill."

Maria Sibylla Merian

Fahrenheit 911.

'I still say these shots need more action.'

A fly on the wall documentary.

People Planet.

Michael Moore

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

"Nothing like the History Channel to get you to appreciate these peaceful times we're enjoying."

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

'I'm freezing...The rich list is a little thin this year.'

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

Ernie is a documentary filmmaker who tells stories of folks in their professional lives -- I think he should wonk on his film titles more. One film looked at the surprisingly competitive cutthroat world of the dry cleaning business. "The Hanger Games." In another, we see astronomers traveling to remote locations to escape light pollution. "The Dark Night." Ernie showed us the bond among young butchers in an increasingly vegan world. "Stand by Meat"! And he told us the story of a man who i

'Coming up next...more of man's inhumanity to man...in hi-def.'

3rd Wave

A typical Monday. Zombie Truck-Driving Maniacs! South Pole Penguin Love! That's a stupid eco-friendly chick documentary! Insipid, mindless, violent zombie crud! Negotiations commence, nearly a week before date night. Wimp! Blockbuster head!

'Hold it - someone's filming this without permission!'

'Because it's there.' ... 'Because he may fall.'

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'