Licensing Officer Gifts

Licensing Officer

"I'll need to see your responsible service of alcohol certificate."

"I can't serve you - you're under 18..."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"Bailiff."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

Panama Papers Scandal

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

AI Safety Officer

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

"Everybody's impressed with how you can shred incriminating documents into one long strand."

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'