Libation Taster Gifts

Scariest Tactics

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

Wine taster with mineral water

Complementary Beverages

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

My first mistake.

My comfort zone

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'The bouquet is reminiscent of rubber nose - but then, it always is...'

"You can tatse the slopes, er I mean hops in this."

'Frank, it's water.'

"Wine not?"

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

'In order to be the king's permanent wine taster, you only have to be able to do 3 things: drink, swallow...and live.'

The race against gravity with an ice cream!

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

'He's judging our reserve pinot noir - five years to produce it, five seconds in his mouth.'

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."