Beverage Taster Gifts

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

Wine taster with mineral water

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

Complementary Beverages

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"I'm getting a lot of burnt notes."

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'The statue of David? I thought you said Mogen David.'

'The bouquet is reminiscent of rubber nose - but then, it always is...'

Hotel mini-bar.

'Frank, it's water.'

"You can tatse the slopes, er I mean hops in this."

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

'He's judging our reserve pinot noir - five years to produce it, five seconds in his mouth.'

IRS, 'Yes, but in order to deduct it, you have to be a LICENSED wine-taster.'

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

"Honestly, it's not what you think. Mostly it's just a seemingly never-ending series of pointless tasks - but at the end of it you get to sit down in front of a TV with a beer."