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Brothers Grimm

Polly txt speak

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"It's a play on words."

"Bed Spread"

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'What does it say, Dad?'

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.

Man sees door to Thesaurus company that has sign posted: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'.

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"Darn autocorrect!"

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

Crossword Dictionary Bookstore

Wordplay: Export.

Roget's Pet

In an unprecedented occurrence, Noah Webster fails his vocabulary test.

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Populating URBAN DICTIONARY.

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

"But this book is just the alphabet all jumbled up..."

"Dad, is there a word that contains all the vowels?"

'This year, we can remove the words Glacier, Permafrost, Iceberg ...'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

Thesaurus Publishing: In a Meeting, Gathering, Conference, Forum, Discussion.

"Why do they keep all these words in the dictionary? I mean, who's going to look up 'dog'?"

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

'Yes, we can get all this into your ad, but we'll have to set the copy in 0.00005 point type.'

"The definitions in this dictionary seem at odds with the words they're describing?"