Lexicographers Gifts

Brothers Grimm

Polly txt speak

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"It's a play on words."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"Bed Spread"

Eldrow

'There it is, 'Twerk', right next to 'Twerp'.'

'What does it say, Dad?'

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.

Man sees door to Thesaurus company that has sign posted: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'.

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"Darn autocorrect!"

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

In an unprecedented occurrence, Noah Webster fails his vocabulary test.

Roget's Pet

Crossword Dictionary Bookstore

Wordplay: Export.

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

Populating URBAN DICTIONARY.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'This year, we can remove the words Glacier, Permafrost, Iceberg ...'

"Dad, is there a word that contains all the vowels?"

"But this book is just the alphabet all jumbled up..."

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

Thesaurus Publishing: In a Meeting, Gathering, Conference, Forum, Discussion.

"Why do they keep all these words in the dictionary? I mean, who's going to look up 'dog'?"

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

'Yes, we can get all this into your ad, but we'll have to set the copy in 0.00005 point type.'