Lexical Warrior Gifts

'Poinsetta! ' 'Poinsettia!' 'Poinsetta! ' 'Poinsettia!'

Ban on Free Speech

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Soldier armed with a pen.

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

Math Camp. I should have read the brochure more carefully before I signed up -- It says "Go on an add-venture and have sum fun"!

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

The Physiciatrist...

"I wish we were just called T-Rex..."

Best Seller

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

"If you want to make a difference, become a mathematician."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Decapitated coffee.

“Oi! This is a no fly zone!”

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

'Hot' and 'dog' t-shirts.

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

Language purists bring correctness to a whole new level, forcing a name change for Ireland's most famous band.

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

Shakespeare in the clink

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'Coleridge'

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

Examiners.

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

"Ted doesn't test well."