Letter And Number Fanatic Gifts

'Thirteen'

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

The Life of Pi

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'A is for Arse.'

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

'After we learn the alphabet, are we going to learn how to text?'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

Frank and Ernie's Country Diner. Special Alphabet Soup. Come in and sit for a spell.

'I think we're closing in on the missing calligrapher.'

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

Staff Yearbook

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

But under a different accounting convention ...

Dept. of History. This term paper doens't have any footnotes at all! I'm suffering from citer's block!

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup, sir - Too many censorship problems.'

Warning: Math Ahead!

1. 0. 5. 6. He'd be nothing without her. (Published originally on June 11, 2008.)

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

Wildlife A-Z: 'Where the heck are zebras?'

Child lifting alphabet blocks.

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

Letterman Show: 'He's always been at my side...the one consonant in my life...'

Reign Man

Frank and Ernie's Diner. Today: Alphabet Soup. The little green pieces? --- That's Ernie's idea. It's Q-cumber.

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'