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"Sorry. I'm out of leprecondoms."

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

Turtle Trailer Court

"He gets easily abstracted."

'Of course you're out of gas. You forgot to fill up at the last stop...maybe this will teach you to stop daydreaming.'

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

"Of course, it may be one of those sting operations!"

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

Elephant ass selfie.

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

Bob realised that he'd had his binoculars back to front.

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"I thought you were getting me a dog?"

Table Of The Elephants

The Monitor is going to sleep.

"Man, these closed book exams suck! Who could possibly remember all this crap?"

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

"You finished with your peanuts?"

....And there is the wood a piggy-wig stood, with a ring at the end of his nose.

'Jumbo waits for the tusk fairy'

"When you said you wanted to bring a pet to work, I thought you meant a DOG!"

'Of course he does - all snakes have great abs!'

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

Chameleon and TV

'I hibernate in a small crevice near the hot springs that stays warm all winter.'

"I've downsized."

Elephant Trunk and Hose Pipe.

'I hope you don't mind, dear — I got my ears pierced.'