Leprechaun Admirer Pillows

"Sorry. I'm out of leprecondoms."

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

"He gets easily abstracted."

'Of course you're out of gas. You forgot to fill up at the last stop...maybe this will teach you to stop daydreaming.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

Elephant ass selfie.

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

"Of course, it may be one of those sting operations!"

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

"I thought you were getting me a dog?"

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Bob realised that he'd had his binoculars back to front.

The Monitor is going to sleep.

"Man, these closed book exams suck! Who could possibly remember all this crap?"

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

Table Of The Elephants

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

'Jumbo waits for the tusk fairy'

....And there is the wood a piggy-wig stood, with a ring at the end of his nose.

"You finished with your peanuts?"

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

"When you said you wanted to bring a pet to work, I thought you meant a DOG!"

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

Chameleon and TV

'Of course he does - all snakes have great abs!'

"They've been walking like this since they watched that documentary on elephants."

'I hope you don't mind, dear — I got my ears pierced.'

Factory Recall Unicorn.

"now let's try one without the tusks."

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'