Lemondrop Dreamer T-Shirts

"I have yet to turn a profit, but I have no trouble getting funding from my parents."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

Reese Witherspoon

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

Canadian film production

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

"Someday you'll see my work in the employee break room at the Met."

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

"You think you're a monster because you have poor self image."

Kids with Fish Balloons

"Ambitions... to open an office on Mars. Kennedy Space Center."

"It's so relaxing watching the clouds change shape as they drift by. You could almost forget you're a dog. Is it my imagination… or does that cloud look a bit like a cat? Arf! Arf! Arf!"

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'Oh Ernie, you're a louse, but I love you.'

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

"Which part are you reading for?"

"Do you ever feel like you were meant for something else?"

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

'My ultimate goal is to do product promo in a popular Super Bowl T.V ad.'

'I considered running away, but since I'll probably be living at home until I'm 38, it's a bad career move.'

"I dreamt we got a 'sorry you were out' card."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

Did you ever get that feeling in the moonlight?

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."