Lemming Lovers Gifts

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

'...I know we're lemmings, but could you just let me go to the bathroom once by myself?'

"That'll be five bucks."

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

Now that we've invented language, let's talk about our relationship.

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

Two birds sharing a bowl of worms.

'Romeo and Julietta'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"When I was your age, I had to ride fifteen miles on a little stationary bike while disco lights flashed and E.D.M. played in the background."

Bio Lab. You spliced phoenix DNA into a lemming? What are you trying to make? A perpetual motion machine!

The Ladies of Kew encouraged everybody to recycle.

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

'Words can't express how much I Love You - so I'm writing an equation.'

Give way - 'Oh, alright then...'

'What do you mean, I'm not your type?'

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

'We're finally in - but how will we get out?'

Heart is sewn back together.

"Dog...God. God...dog. Cat...tac."

"Any other bright ideas, Mr. Sex-on-the-Beach?"

"Blast it, Perkins, not again!"

Woman with blouse zipped up to varying degrees. Arrows read, 'single,' 'married, 'happily married.'

"We were sad last year when we couldn't have the whole family over for the holidays, right?"

"I'm not going to lie. This looks pretty serious."

Happy Valentine!

'I know you're falling for her, but be careful. Remember: Love is blinders.'

'Be my Valentine?'

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

'That's right, the Princess kissed me by mistake: She didn't know the difference between a frog and a toad...'

'These days,' she says, 'nothing gets a rise out of him.'

Love Song of the Baby Boomer.

Shear Love.

"You're in trouble now.You just threw that lightening bolt in the same place as the last one!"