Lemming Lover Gifts

Lemming meringue pie.

Bio Lab. You spliced phoenix DNA into a lemming? What are you trying to make? A perpetual motion machine!

'Just my luck - in a previous life I jumped off Beachy Head.'

The adoration of the gels.

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

"That'll be five bucks."

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

'We recommend that you get a ring of equal weight for the other hand to prevent improper alignment of your spine.'

"The bagels are better in New York."

"Press catch up, and find out what we just slept through."

Chillaxing!

"Herb's from Texas."

Giant gorilla peers at female victim. She says into cellphone: "I can't talk now, he's right here."

"Za Za Bling Bling goes man hunting."

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

It'll never work - you're LED and I'm plasma.

Tyrannosaurus Tex

Le Mans 24 Hour Tiredness can kill, take a break ...

Velvety. And so was the wine.

"Yin and Yankee fan"

Nutflix

"I often get the feeling that I'm going to die young."

'Our kids come here for the food, for my husband, it's the crayons.'

Snow fall buries the Statue of Liberty

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

American Gothic: I Love NY

"I'm telling you, Manhattan is over."

"You're in trouble now.You just threw that lightening bolt in the same place as the last one!"

"I'm going to give you something to help you sleep."

'My client will give up the castle, as long as it is not an admission of defeat.'

"Today is the first day of the rest of our lives in garbage."

Statue of Liberty on the Phone.

Optometrist practical jokes