Legislators Pillows

'Yes, we have 'All You Need To Know About The Health Care Legislation' but it is part of a twelve volume set.'

'Go ahead and put that old gaydar equipment into storage till further notice.'

Decision, Decisions, Decisions.

"Nap time for the senate babies"

Minnesota Red Ink.

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

European Union: Entering a prohibitive tax zone.

"My farewell gift!"

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

'Be right back -- I have to sign some ennobling legislation.'

The Republican's Plan One: No Obama!

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Beware of the Legislation

Worthless B*****ds

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

'A more conservative version of the gun bill would also require a background check for all voters.'

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'

Welcome to Washington, D.C.!

The Second Amendment - The Right of Not-TOO-Obviously Insane nut-jobs to keep and bear . . .

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

House vs. Senate

"I don't think we can take 10,000 lakes as collateral."

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

'Some democrats and Republicans sat together at the state of the union.'

'Lobbyist for 'Big Sugar' is here to see you, congressman. . .'

What comes after a trillion

"A reconciliation bill? -- I've been in Congress for 37 years, and I've never reconciled anything!"