Legislator Pillows

'Now, where were we?...'

"The only solution I can see is to hold a series of long and costly hearings in order to put off finding a solution."

'Congress presented its report on simplifying the tax code today - it's 4,385 pages long.'

How a bill becomes a law today...

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'

'Gosh, I love government, Ed. Just when you begin to lose faith in the system, along comes a fresh crop of idealistic young lawmakers with an invigorating brand of gridlock all their own!'

Welcome to Washington, D.C.!

'I prefer to call it the system of checks and balances in action, senator, not gridlock.'

'Now that we've agreed on the loopholes, should we start drafting the amendment?'

'So maybe it is feel-good legislation- What's wrong with feeling good?'

Bringing Home The Bacon

"Thank you, Governor - we'll take it from here."

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

The Second Amendment - The Right of Not-TOO-Obviously Insane nut-jobs to keep and bear . . .

'Of course they argue about petty things and make stupid decisions. That's why I say Congress should be a TV reality show.'

Will Legislate For Contributions

Abortion - An intensely personal medical and emotional decision that can only be made between a legislator and his political interest group.

"It's the updated version."

'Today congress passed more 'temporary measures' to get us past the expiration of 'temporary measures'...'

Right to work legislation strangles the unions.

Bureaucrats cooking up a new policy soup...

"Yes, dear - now that gay marriage is banned - this wonderful institution of marriage is safe!"

"Let's never forget that the constitution provides for three equally important branches of government; the legislative and the other two."

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

'The 300 Spartans arrived... and blocked the legislation.'

'Stick a few upper-class tax cuts to it and it'll pass like a bran muffin dipped in vaseline.'

'Stick a few upper-class tax cuts to it and it'll pass like a bran muffin dipped in vaseline.'

'OK, so you've lost a few civil liberties but at least you're safe.'

'We're playing 'healthcare'. Timmy's trying to Repeal it.'

"We've had a vote and decided not to have a vote."

Go and sin no more.

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

What if congress designed pencils?

'Remember...my door is always revolving!'

Roller skater see a sign: Nightmareville Pop. 5679 Beware Of Government Red Tape