Legislative Learner Pillows

"Why are there two houses of congress? If at first you don't succeed, blame the other house."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

'Home Schooling'

'I did it all from memory.'

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

"My farewell gift!"

'Be right back -- I have to sign some ennobling legislation.'

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

"Leadership is about more than delegating all of your work."

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Beware of the Legislation

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

'Miss, I think I've learnt all I can too.'

'A more conservative version of the gun bill would also require a background check for all voters.'

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'

Welcome to Washington, D.C.!

The Second Amendment - The Right of Not-TOO-Obviously Insane nut-jobs to keep and bear . . .

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

House vs. Senate

'Lobbyist for 'Big Sugar' is here to see you, congressman. . .'

"A reconciliation bill? -- I've been in Congress for 37 years, and I've never reconciled anything!"

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

"It takes a special supervisor to admit he's wrong. So far I can admit to being a special supervisor. I'm still working on the second part."

"I don't think we can take 10,000 lakes as collateral."