Lessons Learner Pillows

"I'm sorry, Dad. What I did was really stupid, selfish and wrong."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

'I did it all from memory.'

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

"Well, I'm just saying, buying me a cheap used car for graduation is not going to teach me responsibility."

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

'Miss, I think I've learnt all I can too.'

"I'm doing all I can to make the little things count."

"You got a D in English and an E in French, but Swedish isn't a problem?!"

"Baldo, Gracie...you need to learn more Spanish. For the rest of the week, I'm going to speak nothing but Spanish, and Tia Carmen will act as your interpreter, OK? Tienen tarea?"

Illegal Immigrants

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

University of Hard Knocks

'OK Sheldon - which part of the Unified Field Theory do you not understand?'

'My French is not so good.'

"How can a student who can't speak English or Gobbledegook expect to pass?"

'He's so clever he's learning a second language!'

'Apparently, there's some sort of language barrier for me when money talks.'

'What did you learn at university today?'

"Are you sure they'll be able to read English?"

"We all make mistakes. That's why pencils have erasers!"

Moral Values for Dummies