Little Learner Pillows

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

Thank you

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"I'm still pre-literate."

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

'I did it all from memory.'

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

Education and Apprenticeships

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

"You got a D in English and an E in French, but Swedish isn't a problem?!"

'Miss, I think I've learnt all I can too.'

"So you can tweet. That's why you have to learn the alphabet."

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

University of Hard Knocks

Student about Biz Quick class: 'It's bite-size information in a 15 minute class that teaches you how to roll in the dough.'

"How can a student who can't speak English or Gobbledegook expect to pass?"

'Music hath charms,' &c.

'My French is not so good.'

'To better prepare you for the future, I've replaced the letters in your alphabet soup with Chinese ones.'

'Books are okay, except they only get one channel.'

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."