Lazy Learner Pillows

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

"I'm still pre-literate."

Having been born with a birthmark that looks exactly like Asia and the Mideast, Russell was able to ace the geography portion of the SATs.

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

'I did it all from memory.'

Scientist has note on chalkboard: E=mc2 + 6% sales tax.

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

Education and Apprenticeships

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

"And today children, Homer is going to show us his 'pressed fly and bug collection'."

"That's how you're getting your steps in, putting your fitness tracker on the dog?"

'Miss, I think I've learnt all I can too.'

'To better prepare you for the future, I've replaced the letters in your alphabet soup with Chinese ones.'

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

'I need to do more exercising? Are you kidding?! I'm a kind of marathon runner! I run from the bed to the fridge, then to the table, back to the fridge and then to the TV, back again to the fridge and retour to the TV day by day!'

“Okay, Cindy, don’t think of it as learning ... think of it as a software upgrade!”

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

The little engine who could, but decided not to- 'Ah, the heck with it!'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

Segway Workout

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

'It's nice that you've learned to tie your shoes, but you're really too young to quit while you're ahead.'

Apparently I didn't learn enough. They say I have to come back tomorrow. Welcome to Kindergarten.

"I don't want to climb the corporate ladder. I'd prefer to take the corporate elevator."

"I'm sorry, Dad. What I did was really stupid, selfish and wrong."

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

Buddy hadn't learned from the time his tongue got stuck.

'NEW Down hill exercise bike'