Lazy Runner Pillows

Sir Dudley Emerson-Evans-personal description

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

"Streaming"

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"That's how you're getting your steps in, putting your fitness tracker on the dog?"

Fetch the Boomerang

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

'I need to do more exercising? Are you kidding?! I'm a kind of marathon runner! I run from the bed to the fridge, then to the table, back to the fridge and then to the TV, back again to the fridge and retour to the TV day by day!'

Cross-Country Sledding

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

Do it yourself - Get someone else to do it

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

"His wife's still visiting her mother, so it looks like it's left over pizza for us...again!"

'OK, my dinner's in the oven. Where's the oven?'

'NEW Down hill exercise bike'

"Next bench is four steps."

'No need to worry about the volcano - it's not very active.'

"Nice curvature."

Sports centre lift.

"See, you just turn it on and stand here and it slides you right to the shirt you want to wear."

"It keeps track of how long you've been wearing workout clothes without actually working out."

Lazy Mountain Climber.

"Why don't we just stay by this rock and take day trips around the local area?

"I'm going to start working out when they make an activity tracker that fits my wrist."

'Let's call it a day, and finish him off in the morning.'

"We're gonna find a bees nest and steal all their honey!" "Maybe we'll just go to Tesco's..."

'Let's have the Athletics on, luv - the doc sez I need more exercise!'