Lazy Wizard Pillows

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

D.I.Y

'You can't come in here with that.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"So long, boys. I'm off to the big city to try my hand at chainsaw sculpture."

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Boat Launch'

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

Dog Walker

Man gets round hosepipe ban by showering in the garden

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

"Wait. Let me have one more try."

"Think of it -- you'd never have to fold another shirt."