Legislative Process Fanfic Writer Gifts

No! The new mining bill hasn't passed yet!

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

Three little pigs-mortgage.

The Filibuster.

You want my support for your reform bill, eh? — what's it worth to you?

'I'm feeling down, too - Why don't we pass some feel-good legislation?'

Fresh Blood In Politics

Joe Lieberman rehearses the Filibuster dance.

'We've talked it over and we've decided we'd like to make an offer.'

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

The Da Vinci Code Bookstore.

"Says here underage kids can get a hardship license if they have a legitimate reason to drive a car."

CITY HALL, NO PROBLEM IS TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL., 'Oh, no, your problem isn't too big or too small - it's just too difficult.'

'The police report says that he had a great fall... but I'm going to run some tests.'

Mitch McConnell

My new year's resolution is to write a best-selling novel. Did you know "50 Shades of Grey" started out as fan fiction about that vampire book "Twilight"? I just need to repeat that formula: write fan fiction about a popular book and then just change all the names when I'm done. That way, my book will appeal to that same audience and they won't even know why. Which "popular book" are you going to write fan fiction about? "50 Shades of Grey." Only I'll change the names to "Bella" and "Edward," an

Congress Some Assembly Required

"A statue was built in his honor because he actually delivered on his campaign promises."

'Santa is real, but I can't decide if he is the New Black or 50 Shades of Grey!'

"It seems legislation against airbourne Prosecco snatchers is still in the committee stage."

"Say, in case you guys win in November, show me how you improved on this filibuster thing!"

He's Having A Hard Time Letting Go (Congress Perks).

'I'm sorry your honor, I meant to say I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son.'

'The doctor will be with you shortly. He started reading the Affordable Care Act and he just can't put it down.'

'To get any of my programs through congress...it's worth a try!''

'These won't go over very well with the grass roots...'

We used up all our jury challenges on cats.

"Hey, …. Could you help a guy qualify for federal matching funds?"

Standing on His Record

'...What are the parts of Health Care Reform you disagree with?'

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell