Legislative Legend Gifts

Mitch McConnell

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Now that's a win."

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"My farewell gift!"

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

"Be or be not. There is no question."

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

Ted Hughes

'A more conservative version of the gun bill would also require a background check for all voters.'

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

House vs. Senate

"A reconciliation bill? -- I've been in Congress for 37 years, and I've never reconciled anything!"

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

Lawrence of Suburbia

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

'Stick a few upper-class tax cuts to it and it'll pass like a bran muffin dipped in vaseline.'

'I've got it! - We'll call it the SUPERpatriot Act!'

"Yes, you were found guilty of the same crime in 2004."

'Sire, they are starting to call you Edward the Confessor.'

Law Offices: Slip & Trip & Fall formerly Slip & Fall.

'Yes, I have both a law and a medical degree. If you sue me for 'malpractice', I'll sue you for 'slander'.'

'In order for the new Health Care Bill to pass, we'll need to remove the option of Health and Care, and give taxpayers the bill.'

Spring cleaning.

"Thanks, but there's really nothing to do while the meat's smoking."

"Says here underage kids can get a hardship license if they have a legitimate reason to drive a car."

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

'Never put off what you can do today, there may be a law against it tomorrow.'

Sen. Krupt. If they think watching sausage and laws being made is bad, they should see us tackle pork legislation!

"Lawn fish. They're hell to get rid of."