Lawsuit Legend Gifts

'Yes, I have both a law and a medical degree. If you sue me for 'malpractice', I'll sue you for 'slander'.'

'Our clients are suing us for not warning them against getting letigious personality disorders.'

Grabem & Squeeze: All of the other stuff.

"Go away. I haven't had an accident that wasn't my fault in the last three years."

"Now that's a win."

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'It's a treasure map.'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

"And the person who made all those promises, this man you loved, trusted and ran away with, who subsequently stole your life savings and then abandoned you... is he in the courtroom today?"

'Our class-action suit covers any carbon-based life forms.'

"First, admit no harm."

"I'm afraid it's a bad case of libel!"

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

How Lawyers Evolved.

Law Offices: Slip & Trip & Fall formerly Slip & Fall.

Hit by a golf ball and injured...

'Good morning! Lawyer, lawyers and more lawyers! Who may we sue for you!'

"I think I've lost a step with age. Instead of suing I usually just wind up counter suing."

'These are from my attorneys for malpractice suit.'

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

'As a patient I'm glad because the doctor cured me. As a lawyer I'm sad because there's no reason to sue that guy.'

Who to Sue Today.

"Athlete? No. Ambulance chaser."

'My client was hit by space junk...we need to know who in the world is responsible so we can sue!'

'Ow. We are suing you for repetitive strain injury.'

'Going public? That's the lawsuit-filled, media scrutinized period between being private and going private.'